“This brings me to why it is so important to approach our advocacy in a more holistic way –to understand disability justice as quintessential to reproductive, economic, racial and transgender justice,... [W]e will never dismantle any oppressive institutions if advocates, community builders and others who are in struggle do not name, analyse and dismantle ableism. Ableism undergirds, depends upon and reifies every other oppression.” Talila A. Lewis, Still My Revolution Roundtable Conversations

In their work to develop a Disability Justice Task Force charter, the Washington State Supreme Court used local disability activist, Talila A Lewis’ definition of ableism.

“able·ism /ˈābəˌlizəm/ noun A system of assigning value to people's bodies and minds based on societally constructed ideas of normalcy, productivity, desirability, intelligence, excellence, and fitness. These constructed ideas are deeply rooted in eugenics, anti-Blackness, misogyny, colonialism, imperialism, and capitalism. This systemic oppression that leads to people and society determining people's value based on their culture, age, language, appearance, religion, birth or living place, "health/wellness", and/or their ability to satisfactorily re/produce, "excel" and "behave." You do not have to be disabled to experience ableism.” Working definition by @TalilaLewis, updated January 2022, developed in community with disabled Black & negatively racialized folks.
I use this elegant definition often, with citation to Talila, and as a springboard for the materials below.

Welcome to the anti-ableism resource page. This is a non-exhaustive list of reference materials and scholarly journal articles to help unpack the work we owe each other. All of these resources require the adult caregivers to do the work of co-regulation with the disabled child, rather than expecting the child to mask their distress for the comfort of adults.

Words matter

Here is a research article showing you why you should quit using euphemisms to describe disabled people

Here is a video that shows the exact same conclusion but it’s shorter and very cleverly done

Basics on person first language

Basics on identity first language and affirming autistic children

The Ten Principles of Disability Justice

Anti-Ableist Therapy

The OccuPLAYtional Therapist dismantles the notion that therapy for children bust be grueling and inhumane.

Dr. Ross Greene provides evidence and extensive research that our treatment of children with disabilities is ineffective and abusive.

Autistic Self Advocacy Network is a collective of Autistic advocates educating community about humane treatment

Head to Heart ADHD Parenting (Washington State)

Anti-Ableist Tools for Schools and Gatherings